It is easier for me to imagine you as I want you to be
Instead of how you were
Because I never knew you.
I build a vision
Of you as patient mother
The grandmother I never knew
Constructed from pieces
I cling to
Photographs and costume jewelry,
To things you may not have valued.
Because it’s all I have.
Researching to find explanations
For your choices,
Knowing that your name is rarely spoken,
And only with pain
From your children,
The only ones related who remember.
Content with the fragments
I have built an illusion of hope around your life
More comforting than the reality
I will never know.