I’ve linked each of my 40 fears to related posts as I faced and wrote about them. By reading them,  I hope to inspire you to face your fears… whatever they may be.

I don’t know if I can even think of 40 fears. I’ve almost died, lost a house and I guess most things don’t really rattle me anymore.

I stared at my friend skeptically.

Then, I realized how optimistic she is- and happy.  She is calm in the face of life trials and adversities. She’s not the one popping Xanax and focusing on deep breathing… I am.

Every time the bell of opportunity rings, I have let my 40 fears devour me like a hungry pack of Pavlov’s dogs. I am ready for a new response. I am ready to be brave.

Facing my 40 fears

Being brave to me isn’t skydiving for my 40th birthday, or climbing a mountain. That would be less daunting than issues that rock my core, and cause night terrors. My fears are the things I don’t usually talk about, but leave me feeling exhausted and paralyzed with in action. I’m ready to change that.

As a prelude to my 40th birthday in February 2017, I’m facing my 40 fears. 

Here are my 40 fears:

I’m afraid of…

  1. being vulnerable – being vulnerable – being vulnerable
  2. my past coming back to haunt me
  3. having my IQ tested
  4. alcoholism
  5. calling people on the phone
  6. having fun
  7. being poor forever
  8. rejection – rejection
  9. swimming
  10. becoming a hoarder , becoming a hoarder 
  11. eating meals with people
  12. criticism
  13. spending time with someone who is dying/ terminally ill
  14. being naked being naked –being naked 
  15. being spontaneous
  16. never graduating from college
  17. listening to other people’s problems
  18. being in loud places
  19. being forgotten
  20. public speaking
  21. getting too close/ sharing too much with  friends
  22. road trips alone with my kids
  23. reaching my ideal weight
  24. depending on others for what I need
  25. singing
  26. having company at my house
  27. people thinking I’m not intelligent, people thinking I’m not intelligent
  28. being dirty
  29. losing myself/ my identity
  30. being unprepared in an emergency situation
  31. failing to help someone in need
  32. being around crowds of people
  33. raising boys who don’t respect me, or women in general
  34. losing my mind , losing my mind
  35. spending time with people from my past
  36. making the wrong decision
  37. not achieving greatness
  38. calling myself a writer
  39. doing my best, and failing, doing my best and failing
  40. that my voice or opinion doesn’t matter

They are in random order except number 1, that’s the scariest for sure.

There are stories behind each of my 40 fears, and I look forward to being brave, and sharing  some of them with you.

I don’t plan to be brave everyday. That’s simply too exhausting.  Some of my fears may take a couple eleven attempts, and still be scary. Plus, they will probably trigger deeper issues. (Which makes me automatically worry about fear 39, doing my best and failing).

I haven’t wanted to publish this post… I am guessing it’s because of fear number 1, being vulnerable. So, I’m going to be brave and publish it before I change my mind.

Maybe, you don’t have 40 fears like I do. Maybe, you can help me face mine.

 

Genealogy Jen’s Weekly Challenge– Naming your fears is the first step to conquering them.  Just start with one.  Share it.

Bonus Points –  Be brave. Use #My40Fears to Tag your picture or your post on social media to celebrate facing your fear. Even if it’s a baby step, it’s still a step.

You’re not alone.

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